We all got our very own shadow side. It is the same one that makes us show a good dose of violent behavior towards other drivers in traffic, eat your sister’s chocolate cake (and blame dad for it afterwards) or simply trigger harming behavior that might cause pain to us or/and to others. But how can we accept, love and control the terrible monster that we can turn into?
Well, firstly we need to understand what is the “inner demon” we are talking about. Our darker side is not an inner beast that will send us on innocent puppies killing spree. It is actually a magnificent self-empowering tool, storage of astonishing individual power and self confidence we are all sitting on. It can be the power moment when you decide to leave abusive relationship leaving the other person behind and not feeling bad about it. Your inner pink glitter unicorn won’t do that.
What we are truly afraid of when it comes to grimy parts of our souls are uncontrolled eruptions of harmful behavior triggered by anger or fear but those can not be really controlled by suppressing or denial as they are part of us that we can’t possibly get rid of. For example in tarot I would link our shadow side to a “Devil” card, which is a card connected to ability to free yourself from restraining situation, power and re-gaining control. This “Devil” can not be ever separated from us as there will always be both: light and shadow. That is very natural and perfectly fine however we occasionally fail to see it that way.
We are ashamed of our inner demons, trying to subdue them feeling guilty that our “true self” is not nearly as perfect as our “ideal self”. The gap between those two “self” is then an astonishing birth place for neurosis, depressions, frustrations and addictions. If we could see our inner self as the ideal self even with its flaws and imperfections through our own balanced personality we can gain access to all the benefits of a dark side while still being able to control it. If we open our perceptions and immerse our glitches by bringing them into our consciousness we can gain back the other side of the “leash” and regulate impulses that would otherwise act upon hidden motives.
However after openness must come true introspection, making a pilgrimage inside ourselves and taking a long, honest look at what we find there. It won’t always be pretty, but we have to know who we are and what raw materials we have to work with if we are ever to become better than we are. 🙂